Change Comes Too Fast
Friendship is an arrangement by which we undertake to exchange small favors for big ones. Count your life by friends and your age by smiles.
I had a long conversation with a young friend last night. He's been struggling with an addiction to pornography for the last year and a half. He's young and frustrated because it's an old demon he thought he had conquered more than a decade ago.
But moving to an emotionally and spiritually challenging place was biting off a bit more than he was ready to chew.
Personally, I didn't do enough to help him. I could have been more present, engaged and more of a friend. But the Keeper was battling his own dragons.
His frustration stems for what seems like an impossible task: to slay the desire for something he hates. And speaking to him, he has all of the barriers in place that one can have to stay governed.
But, it isn't a knowledge problem, it's a matter of the heart. Knowing what to do and having the power to do it are different things. This seems to be a plague that is afflicting millions of young people, male and female.
In my opinion, and experience, the greatest asset we can have in fighting heart failure is to FEEL loved.
THINK: don't offer a lecture to someone who needs a hug.
Again, it isn't enough to know that you are, you must feel it. Constantly. Friends are critical in this. Honest, genuine and close friends. Those sticking closer than a brother. Those born for times of distress.
I think this is the blow that opened the crack of my friend's weakness. Too often he was seen as a resource and not nearly enough as someone to laugh and cry and share quiet moments.
When you feel lost, used and forgotten, it's easy to reach for that which makes you feel something else. Something good.
My friend is now considering a relocation.
Smart, but I hate to see him go. We need more men like him here—men capable of displacing the narrow thinking that too often controls the actions and decisions of those charged with taking the lead. Not malicious or bitter men, but men who have become so accustomed to managing every detail that they can no longer see the difference between micromanaging and shepherding.
So, i'm doing what I can to be a friend, as I have for some time. As I work to heal, I hope that I can help him do the same thing.
Prayer, time and hard work are the tools in my arsenal, which is enough. According to God's word, with Him, all things are possible.
Jesus, I think, knew what he was talking about.
Home | About | Full of Stars | Contact | HeartCartography
“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper