if knowledge is power, then those in the dark are powerless.

four weeks.

iv been grinding for a month. It’s great. Terrific even. But exhausting. I don’t know how, bury client is ecstatic. Thrilled that EIGHTEEN images came out great.

I have my doubts on a few, but they were approved and so shipped.

Maybe it would be good to stay this busy for a while. It seems advertising is picking up. And maybe making better personal choices will result in the kinds of blessing Jah always poured out on us.

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

You can be removed from the ceremony, but the work never leaves you. Not if it was always really there.

I am carrying enormous things, I'm not fully permitted to belong, I'm improvising ways to remain useful, and there is a tremendous amount of force moving through me that I don't entirely control.

1st blush dream notes:

DAH presentation I’m not on program because of moral failure But am making props Make 4x 12’ inflatable globes with cool art look Filled with smoke Have to transport in my mini cooper End up in mountain town. Looks like the projects in dust meridian One Road into neighborhood Go in service with NG Take a cat on leash Snow I push cardboard like snowplow and clear streets See Nois and Jeanie Will Ferrel calls me into a meeting in the little town CEO (Victoria Beckham) wants me to put graphics on globe. Giant V and a bunch of smaller graphics. Thrusting dreams – hips thrusting as I lay in bed, like an earthquake (dance or sex?)

Moral failure → exclusion → making things anyway → carrying the 'world' → isolation → clearing a path → summoned by authority → my creation branded

Big forces req managment: inflatable globe, smoke, snow, geography, organizational authority

“I’m not on program because of moral failure / But am making props.” It occurs to me that in my circle, moral failure precludes me from even tasks like this. I am only allowed to watch, but I insist on engaging anyway, this is a form of self-enrichment and disobedience at the same time. For someone who sees their own worth through what he provides, this is almost a natural imperative than it is a choice. I can't be on the stage, but I can contribute to its function.

Globes. Model of the world, but fake. Big, fragile and filled with smoke—something intangible vs real. The size and my mode of transportation are incompatible. 5lbs of potatoes and 1lb of sack, as it were. Like the stage limit, it's intractable problem that can only be solved with a different set of circumstances.

The mountain town—opposite of the multi-thousand person venue and the totem representing the world (x4). This is is small, quaint and abandoned. Isolated, the idea reinforced by the one-road-in-and-out. Maybe the represents my reality (or perception of it) verses my inner landscape (the stage and world management).

Pushing the snow: Again, a 'problem' that i am unprepared to confront. That someone tells me in the dream, 'yeah, you should have brought a snow plow, they pay really good money for plowing snow when it stacks up like this.', is almost a challenge. To make money, to help the community, to butter both sides of the bread.

I know how I felt: Unprepared for an opportunity but not giving up and letting it pass. I'll use whatever tool I can find to show that I can push through this problem. Claim this opportunity. That's what mules do, they push. They don't wait for convenience or comfort.

Field Service with Ng: Energy going to help someone else. Service of others, saving the world one persona at a time. The cat: another anachronistic addition. Cats are neither controllable nor standard operating equipment for the preaching work.

I never speak to anyone, I just acknowledge the cat and it's resistance to the leash, when the man approaches about the snow plow. In that moment is when I see Jeanie and Nois, an older couple who are generally friendly, but not very close or deep. They are peripheral friends at best. They acknowledge us but do not engage. And I do not engage them either. This mirrors real life. Though I have tried to get to know the man and find is good qualities, of which he has many. A cat doesn't naturally need to be walked on a leash, so responsible for something that doesn't quite fit the situation.

This is adapting.

Will Ferrell calling me into a meeting. Think: WF from Barbie movie (executive). Comically serious about his job. Tells me someone important wants to talk. I follow him into a 3 story brick 'projects' building. Leave cat and Ng outside. I am surprised such a high profile meeting is happening here in this dirty-snow little town on a sunny winter day.

The CEO being Victoria Beckham: beautiful and poised. no hesitation in what she wants and I want to please her. She is associated with branding, fashion, fame, visual identity. I am surprised that the 11th hour she is now asking me to make the graphics happen. I explain that I don't have time to reprint the globes, but that I might be able to cut vinyl and apply it. I am nervous to even offer this as I'm not sure how the vinyl's elasticity will marry to the globe substrate.

it doesn't occur to me in the dream that a woman who represents power asks me to rebrand my own art as hers and I have no hesitation. My people-pleasing is in full effect and I hope to hold nothing for myself if it means making her satisfied.

Is it the authority or the beauty that makes me respond? Or is it just my need to see others comfortable and content?

The hip thrusting in bed during an earthquake doesn't fit this scenario at all and almost feels like a secondary dream. IDK if this was related to sex or dance. The physical sensation: rhythm, I think is the more important takeaway than the location. The body itself becomes something that is moving the person rather than something the person is consciously controlling.

Almost everything in it involves large forces that have to be contained or managed—inflatable globes, smoke, snow, geography, organizational authority—and then at teh very end, my own body produces an uncontrollable force.

Takeaway: I am carrying enormous things, I'm not fully permitted to belong, I'm improvising ways to remain useful, and there is a tremendous amount of force moving through me that I don't entirely control.

It does trouble me I was so ready to give away my own agency to make someone else happy. Maybe finaly being aware of that is a good thing.

#dream

08/17/26

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

Yep — that note usually means:

“Keep the overall brightness where it is, but give the darker values a little more shape/depth.”

In this image, I’d read that as:

a little more definition in the face shadows a little more form in the sweater folds maybe a touch more depth in the hair/beard not making him overall darker Fastest move Curves layer clipped to left guy

Make a very gentle S-curve, but bias it toward the darks:

add a point in the lower mids / shadow zone pull it down just a little keep highlights mostly where they are

Think:

shadows: slightly deeper mids: mostly same highlights: protected

If you’re in Camera Raw:

Contrast +5 to +10 Shadows -8 to -15 Blacks -3 to -8

That’s probably enough.

Where I’d target it 1. Face

His face is a little creamy/flat compared with approved guy.

Add a subtle darkening to:

under cheekbone side of nose under lower lip jawline eye sockets/crow’s foot area very lightly

Not painted-looking — just a little more sculpting.

1. Hair and beard

The hair is good now, but could use a touch more internal depth.

Use a Curves or Levels layer on the hair/beard and deepen:

roots underside of swept hair beard under cheek/jaw

Just a little. The silver highlights should still pop.

1. Sweater

This is probably where the client is feeling “flat.” The sweater can take a touch more contrast in:

under the arm side seams folds around the elbow/cuff under the chest / rib area

A subtle Multiply layer at low opacity or a Curves darken layer masked into folds works great.

Best Photoshop move

If you want the safest, most controllable route:

Add Curves Pull down shadow region slightly Fill mask black Paint in with soft white brush at 10–20% Hit only: face form shadows beard depth sweater folds maybe pant folds What not to do Don’t lower overall exposure Don’t crush blacks Don’t make the skin muddy Don’t deepen purple shadows so much they go dirty/blue-black Rule of thumb

If the client asked for “a little more shadow contrast,” you’re probably looking for something like:

5–10% more depth not a dramatic regrade

So I’d start with:

Curves: shadow point down slightly mask it mostly into face + sweater folds then back off opacity to around 50–70%

If you want, I can give you super specific Curves/Selective Color moves for just the face or just the sweater from this frame.

Back again. Need to match skin and shirt on left to hero on right.

Yep — on this one I’d treat skin and shirt as two separate matches.

Quick read Left skin vs right hero

Left woman is:

a little cool/gray/olive a touch darker in the mids a bit flatter overall

Right hero is:

cleaner and rosier slightly warmer in the highlights with a little more brightness and polish Left shirt vs right hero

Left cardigan is:

a bit more lavender / blue-purple slightly lighter a little less saturated/punchy

Right polo is:

more magenta-purple a touch deeper cleaner and more saturated Best workflow

Make two masks:

skin cardigan

Then match separately.

1) Skin match moves A. Exposure / density first

Add a Curves layer clipped to the left subject’s skin.

You probably want:

lift mids slightly: about +0.10 to +0.20 stop tiny bit more contrast keep shadows from going muddy

Think:

forehead cheeks chin hand on stomach neck

The left skin needs a little more “life.”

B. Remove gray/olive, add rosy warmth Selective Color — Reds

Start around:

Cyan -6 to -10 Magenta +4 to +8 Yellow -2 to -5 Black -1 to -3

This gets you away from dull/olive and closer to that clean hero skin.

Selective Color — Yellows

For the neck, jaw, and hand especially:

Cyan -3 to -6 Magenta +3 to +6 Yellow -8 to -12 Black -1 to -2

That should help the left subject stop feeling a little muddy compared to the hero.

C. Small Color Balance tweak Midtones +3 Red +3 to +5 Magenta -2 Yellow / or +2 Blue depending on tool

The hero skin is not orange. It’s more rosy-neutral.

So if you warm the left subject with yellow only, she’ll go peachy/orange too fast.

D. Hand check

The hand on the left often goes more beige/yellow than the face. Make sure the hand follows the same correction, maybe even a little extra magenta if needed.

2) Shirt match moves

The cardigan is pretty close in family already, but it needs to move toward the right shirt’s richer magenta-purple.

A. Hue/Saturation

Target Magentas / Purples.

Try roughly:

Hue: -5 to -10 (this pushes it away from lavender/blue-purple toward magenta) Saturation: +8 to +15 Lightness: -3 to -8

If it starts getting too electric, back off saturation first.

B. Selective Color — Magentas

Try:

Cyan -5 to -10 Magenta +5 to +10 Yellow -5 to -10 Black +2 to +5

That combination usually gives you that cleaner brand purple / hero purple feel.

C. Curves for depth

The cardigan on left is a little flatter/lighter than the hero shirt.

Add a subtle Curves darken:

lower mids down slightly keep highlights intact maybe a tiny extra contrast in the folds

That’ll help it sit closer to the hero’s richer top.

What I’d do first, fast

If I had 2 minutes:

Skin Curves: +0.15 stop mids Selective Color Reds: C -8 / M +6 / Y -3 Selective Color Yellows: C -4 / M +4 / Y -10 Shirt Hue/Sat on purples: Hue -7 / Sat +10 / Lightness -4 Selective Color Magentas: C -6 / M +7 / Y -6 / K +3

That would get you most of the way there.

What to watch out for Skin

Don’t:

over-yellow it make it too pink in the forehead leave the neck cooler than the face Shirt

Don’t:

make it too blue-violet crush the knit texture over-saturate until it feels neon Super short diagnosis

If I had to summarize the move in one line:

Make the left skin cleaner, rosier, and slightly brighter; make the cardigan a little deeper, more magenta, and a touch more saturated.

If you want, I can give you:

Camera Raw slider moves, or exact Photoshop layer stack order for the fastest finish.

Yep — the sweater on the right is way too dark/blue-violet compared with the approved polo. The approved shirt is a brighter red-magenta purple. I’d attack it in Camera Raw like this, masked just to the sweater:

Basic

Exposure: +0.55 Shadows: +25 Blacks: +12 Contrast: -5 Temp: +3 Tint: +12 to +18

Color Mixer — this is the important part

Purple Hue: +35 to +45 → pushes violet toward magenta Purple Saturation: +20 Purple Luminance: +30 to +40 Blue Hue: +20 to +30 → pulls any blue contamination toward purple Blue Saturation: -15 Magenta Saturation: +10 Magenta Luminance: +10

The biggest issue is value: the sweater is roughly 1–1½ stops darker through the mids than the approved shirt. Don’t be afraid to lift it substantially. Keep the deepest fold shadows dark so it still reads as knitted fabric.

Even faster in Camera Raw 2026: Point Color

Eyedropper the main midtone purple of the sweater, expand the range enough to grab the whole garment, then roughly:

Hue +25–35 toward magenta → Saturation +20 → Luminance +35

Then use the Basic Exposure lift to finish it.

I’d aim initially for about 80% of the brightness of the left polo, rather than literally matching it. Because the sweater material naturally needs deeper folds. Once you get there, I’d expect the right guy to family with the approved color extremely well.

How does this look for mathcin hari?

Much closer. I’d call the hair ~8/10 matched now. The value structure is working; what’s left is mostly color character.

The left hair is still a little too neutral/silvery, while the right has more lavender/magenta contamination, especially through the top and side highlights. I would not purple-up the whole head—you’ll lose that believable gray.

For the left hair only, I’d try:

Tint: +5 to +8 magenta Temp: +2 or +3 warmer Purple saturation: +8–12 Magenta saturation: +5–8 Highlights: +5–10 Blacks: -3 to -5, just to retain the dark strand separation

Then make a very soft second mask over the crown/top-facing hair and add another +5-ish magenta/purple there. That’s where the right guy is getting most of that violet light.

One other difference: the left beard is slightly cleaner/whiter than the right. I’d put maybe 5% of that same lavender cast into the beard shadows, but leave the white whisker highlights alone.

Don’t push it much farther than that. You’ve gotten past “different hair color”; now it reads more like the same gray hair under slightly different lighting, which is exactly where you want it.

okay, guy on the right skin needs to be like guy on left but in a sundown magic hour ... am i too yell0w? lik ethis? Quick, get my skin on th eleft to match right, only she's outside in the sun

Yep — left needs to come toward the right woman’s base skin color, but keep outdoor sun warmth on top.

So the move is:

cool and neutralize the base skin without removing the sunlit peach highlights

What’s off on the left now

She’s reading:

a little too red/orange a little too saturated slightly deeper/tanner than the right woman hair is also warmer/reddier than the right

The right woman feels:

lighter more neutral beige slightly less red a little more yellow/neutral in the mids, but not golden Fastest path in Photoshop 1) Camera Raw on left woman only

If you want the quickest global move:

Temp: slightly down Tint: slightly down if she’s too pink/magenta Saturation: tiny bit down Orange Saturation: down a little Orange Luminance: up a little Red Saturation: down a touch

That usually gets you close fast.

What you’re trying to do: make the skin lighter less ruddy less orange-red but still keep sunlit warmth in the highlights 2) Best targeted move: Selective Color

On left skin only:

In Reds Cyan: add a tiny bit Magenta: reduce a little Yellow: reduce a little Black: reduce slightly if she’s too heavy/dark In Yellows reduce Yellow a little if she still feels too golden maybe reduce Black slightly to open the skin

This will get her closer to the woman on the right faster than broad global temp shifts.

3) Preserve the “outside in the sun” look

After neutralizing the skin, if she loses her outdoor feel:

Add a very soft warm Photo Filter / Color Balance / clipped layer only into the sun-facing planes:

top of cheek forehead shoulder arm nose bridge

That way:

base skin = right woman lighting warmth = left woman in sun

That’s the key.

Super quick visual rule

If matching to the right:

Left woman needs: less red less orange slightly brighter slightly less saturated

But do not flatten out the highlight warmth.

If I were doing it fast-fast Mask left skin Camera Raw: Temp slightly cooler Saturation down a touch Orange Sat down Orange Lum up Selective Color: pull a little red/orange out Paint back a warm glow into highlights if needed One-sentence goal

You want her to feel like:

the same skin family as the woman on the right, but photographed outdoors at golden hour.

If you want, I can give you actual slider amounts like “Orange Sat -12, Orange Lum +10” style.

how abou ther hair, how do i get a sort of blonde direction

Yeah — her hair on the left is reading auburn/chestnut. To push it toward the woman on the right, you want caramel / dark blonde, not just “add yellow.”

The big moves are: remove red/magenta, lift the midtones, then introduce beige-gold.

Fast Photoshop route:

Mask the hair. Add Hue/Saturation: Reds: Saturation around -20 to -35 Reds: Hue a little toward yellow, roughly +5 to +10 Magentas: Saturation -20-ish Add a Curves layer and lift the midtones maybe ⅓ stop. Don’t lift the blacks much — you still want depth at the roots. Add Selective Color: Reds: Magenta -10 to -20, Yellow +5 to +10 Yellows: Cyan -5, Yellow +5-ish, Black -5 to -10 Neutrals: tiny reduction in Magenta and Black if it still feels brown-red.

The important bit: don’t make the shadows yellow. Keep the roots/shadows a neutral brown, and let the blonde/caramel show up mostly in the midtones and sun-facing strands.

For this particular image, I’d aim for warm honey/caramel blonde, because she’s outdoors. The right woman’s hair is more neutral beige-blonde; on the left, the sunlight can legitimately push it a little more golden.

If it gets too “orange blonde,” you’ve gone too far in Yellow without removing enough Red/Magenta. The correction is usually less red first, then brighten, then add gold.

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

The secret sauce is in the COLOR

Inverse color transform using the BG plates:

1. Using a Levels effect on the BG plate apply an Input Black and Input White move + Gamma to create a decent looking plate.

Input Black and Input White are somewhat negotiable, but Gamma must be .454.

Don't touch the Output Levels at this stage, only Input.  2. Work with these plates in your in comp. Integrate 3D elements using exposure and other tools to make sure the black & white points visually match the BG plate.

Create a new comp for export of the shot. I do the scale-to 3.8K in this new comp as well as applying letterbox bars to mask any layers that extend beyond the image area.

Apply a Levels effect, this time using the inverse of the previous Levels;

If you applied Input Black levels of 0.0667 then apply the same to the Output Black. Same with the Output White. Set Gamma to 2.2, which is the inverse Gamma of .454.

Don't touch the Input Levels at this stage, only Output.



This is a frame of what you would see in your comp. The BG has been leveled to live in a “normal world, and the rendered object plays nicely;



This is a frame of the output, the BG plate and CG elements have been transformed back into the original plate's color levels;



This is a frame of the above image with the view Levels applied looking just like our comp view ;

#art #vfx #workflow



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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

We become what we love.

I love sunshine. I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is acknowledge how much light is in the room. It will be funny when I move and can no longer tell the time, because here, I can tell within 15 minute intervals what time of day it is.

A room filled with morning light is among the greatest of my pleasures. If it were up to me, every room in the house would have big windows into which light would spill all day long. Great rectangles serving as sundials.

I was reading this morning about loving Jesus, thinking like him.

Since Christ suffered in the flesh, you too arm yourselves with the same mental disposition. — 1 Pet. 4:1

“You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole strength and with your whole mind.” — Luke 10:27

Jesus acknowledged this as the most important command in the Mosaic Law. Notice that our love for Jehovah involves our heart, which includes our desires, feelings, and emotions. It also involves our whole-souled devotion and our strength—including our energy.

However, loving Jehovah also involves our mind, which includes the way we think about matters. Of course, we can never fully understand all of Jehovah’s thinking. But we can better understand God’s thinking by studying “the mind of Christ” because Jesus perfectly reflects the thinking of his Father. — 1 Cor. 2:16

I like the commentary because it defines our whole being: desires, feelings, emotions, our energy, mind, thought.

These are reasonably put into two categories:

HEART 💙: desire emotion feeling

MIND 🧠: logic thought energy (this one arguably could go either, but we need symmetry, reader!

I was always of the mind that the second category was fully controllable. That we just switch on thought-control and we can Vulcan our way out of anything.

But I discovered last year that our biology can override our ability to think. I was waking up every night at 3 am in tears. I would curl up on the floor and wedge myself under the bed because it was the only place I felt safe. For three hours I would pray, and cry and listen to music or meditative spoken word recordings to try to engage my mind. it was STUCK on feedback loops of everything wrong in my life. Bad decisions, family strife, childhood trauma, work, death, overload, loss—you name it, i was anxiety-maxing about it.

This went on starting in April through August when I finally saw a doctor. And with the right drugs, the chemistry that was starting the cascade was stalled.

The heart, however. Even the Bible says it's treacherous. It's this wild thing that can burn worlds or save a soul with nothing more than words.

and sometimes, it's the heart that reigns in our brains.

This is why I love Nick Seluk's' The Awkward Yeti

https://www.theawkwardyeti.com/

Few thinkers capture the dynamic quite as well as his heart/mind characters. Funny, I rarely see the actual yeti in this strip.

We are most powerful when our minds and hearts are unified in pursuit of goodness. How goodness is defined changes based on whom you ask.

And a wise person will always ask the Maker what is good. And sometimes we'll get a definite answer, others we'll get a 'well, it depends'.

It's in the 'it depends' zone where we get to be whatever we want. Giving a gift? What should you give? Well, it depends. Don't give a diabetic a basket of sugar, but beyond that... could be something you like, something they like. Could be just note or letter.

Whatever good your hand finds to do, do.

Sometimes the best 'good' we can do, is nothing at all.

If we truly love God and try to follow the example of his son, we'll be just fine. We won't get it right all the time. IN fact we'll get it wrong a lot. Sometimes, most of the time. From time to time, all of the time.

The important part of the equation is that we never give up, ever stop trying. That's what 1 Peter 4:1 is really saying. 'Arm yourselves'. Master that tool and it's a force multiplier. But it isn't a magic talisman. No soldier is infallible nor is he un-injure-able.

But, to be armed is to be prepared for the war of life. And it means that even though we lose a battle here and there, we can be victorious in the war of our lives.

OH! The sun has climbed beyond shadow-making on this box-shaped hole to the world, that means it's time to ambulate. I think I smell breakfast!

And then—your Keeper has to get to the salt-mines!

Last Thoughts:

I saw this and realize the writer intended this to be 'Lover' in a romantic sense. But framed through the lens of the discussion above, what greater lover can we have than God? Only through the Creator are we truly appreciated and not only matched but exceeded.

Perfect Match, indeed!

💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜

Isa 42:17 “I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know And cause them to tread on unfamiliar paths. I will turn the darkness before them into light And turn the rugged terrain into level land. This is what I will do for them, and I will not abandon them.”

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

To work is good, to eat is better!

This is harder to do than I anticipated... writing is one thing.. but to keep a daily schedule... oof!

Listening to a dumb sci fi book about people vs spiders vs ants.

So basically, Children of Time is about humans trying to escape a dying Earth and find somewhere else to live. A scientist named Avrana Kern sets up an experiment on a planet where she’s supposed to genetically enhance monkeys so they can eventually become intelligent. The problem is that things go very wrong, Kern gets stuck in space, and the experiment doesn’t exactly go according to plan.

Fast-forward a ridiculously long time, and the species that ends up becoming intelligent is spiders, not monkeys. Meanwhile, a group of human colonists on the a spaceship named Gilgamesh is traveling through space looking for a new home. So far, I’m basically following two timelines: humans trying not to go extinct and spiders accidentally becoming the next big civilization. And apparently I’m supposed to just accept that giant sentient spiders are the protagonists now.

Sometimes it's engaging. Sometimes it drones me to sleep.

Dream.

I dozed at work. just sitting at my desk and nodded.

Had strange dream about going somewhere in a trailer.

then I had to leave the hospital and so rode a motorcycle. I do love riding a motorcycle.

I was giving a news interview to a woman in a van as I rode.

I got cocky an telling her how you ride a motorbyke, then my sleeve hung on the throttle and I started speeding out of control.

AWAKE!

GET TO WORK!

PRAISE BE!!!

We're not approved! But making GREAT PROGRESS! 8 of the 9 are done and ready to show, never mind 6 of the nine are done. Client wants to tweak before we show. 🙄

Okay, okay! Keep forging ahead keeper! The light spins on its own, no need to worry your big fat head.

5:30 and doing just fine!

Today's actually a pretty solid day. Could have used a little more sleep. Listened to a podcast on The importance and benefit of good sleep.

Not just mortality, it's about memory, emotional stability, etc etc.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-rich-roll-podcast/id582272991?i=1000521073910

So, eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables, drink water, sleep.

The best things in life really are free (or at least affordable).

Visiting Mack

I didn't have time, but I'm SOOO Glad I went to see the Micks. Ng knew she was sick and built a little care package. What a lovely visit. He's a big hulking quiet guy who just turned 70. So their in that phase of life where everything is breaking.

No one knows WHAT is wrong with his wife. after pandemic, she just started losing weight. Likely: too many meds. Over doctored. The place where we currently live is mostly retirees and the doctor to human ratio is ridiculously high, while the quality of care is ridiculously low.

😕

Mick was a truck deriver his whole life. When I knew him he drove a cement mixer truck. He sweats profusely when he is nervous. And LOVES working out. That means lifting weights. he's been trying to get me to come over and lift with him for the last 4 years. There's really no reason I shouldn't!

Except, weights! There's something about cardio and jumping rope, pushups and crunches that i like. I associate weightlifting with high school. And highschool was not peak Keeper.

I was awkward, an artist and a Bible lover. Friend-zoned by all the girls. Which, in hind sight, was probably for the best. I liked the attention even if it wasn't the kind that the average high school boy dreams of. In fact, I'd argue it was better. Being friends with someone lasts and lasts. you never stop being friends. But romantic relationships have a way of getting complicated.

Amazing. Earth shattering. Knee-quavering. In fact, the outrageous wonder of a truly soul-mate-on-soul-mate relationship is just the sort of power that makes it untenable. Something always breaks. You do something wrong, or they do. It's usually you. Because you can't keep your fat mouth shut, you're just lost in this maelstrom of emotion and no one ever taught you that restraint is sexy. You just dive right in without checking the depth.

Sigh.

Am I still talking about high school?

know what I ALWAYS despised? Mike Demone and guys like him. Yes, Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Yes, in fact there was a whole film outside of Phoebe Cates' famous swimsuit moment. Sometimes hilarious, often sadly true. But, I never could stomach the opportunism and casting aside of Stacy Hamilton. Poor Rat. I was a Rat.

Always a bridesmaid and all. We even had a restaurant like the one Rat takes Stacy too on their big date. What a nerd.

Mick was worried that a friend of ours had started smoking cigars. I know, for a lot of ppl, it's not that big of a deal. But for our little family, no one smokes.

Mike wants to confront Per about it. But I encourage him to just have a friendly conversation, that often things aren't what they look like. And since Mick is relaying this story based on an image he saw on facebook, I definitely encourage confirming he saw what he thinks he saw.

Later this evening, sure enough, I get a call that it was an old photo.

Do not judge, lest ye be judged.

Mike went on to tel me that he's got 8 grandchildren, the youngest is 28. None of them have ever had drivers licenses. HOW do you do you do that?

I mean? WHAT? Really? Holy cow! And the 28 year old has owned three vehicles. IDK, it's nuts. I got my DL at 15, hardship. Both parents worked—I forget what the exact hardship was except that it was hard not having a DL.

Before I got it, my dad helped me build a care from a wrecked 1983 cutlass Supreme. I was so proud of that car. Powder blue, with dark tinted windows. the power plant wasn't anemic, but it wouldn't win any races. The Cutlass Supreme was a luxury sedan in a couples body. it just rolled and floated around.

So by 16, I was employed, licensed and had wheels.

Today, I guess they just do it all electronically.

I comment on the 3 cats playing in his shady front yard. He tells me that two fo them are ferrel, that ferrel cats CANNOT be captured/caught. I'm dubious on the point, but enjoy the silly anecdote-ed-ness of the concept. I'm sure they are very hard to catch. But anything can be caught.

Except the dumb cricket that was so charming 5 hours ago. Not it's driving me nuts. It should at three am.

Before leaving, Mick has some suggestions on where to buy meat. We both agree that the grocers and the big box stores have the worst steaks and burgers. I offer to go in ½ or 1/3 on a whole butchered cow if he wants to do the legwork of finding one and a butcher.

The last few steaks I bought here in Dust Merdian reminded me of what I could find in Spain and France. Unimpressive. Overpriced.

Ireland though... Ireland knows how to cut a steak.

Corner Store Flora and Fauna

After visiting Mick and Im, we stopped at the local corner store for a cold drink. It was worth the stop. The place was overrun with interesting characters.

Leaned against the counter was an old coot-of-a-man. Not poorly dresed but not well costumed either. Typical Texan attire: boots, blue jeans and a plaid button up shirt.

I decide it's possible I may be able to start a Bible discussion with him. So I comment on his posture.

“You, look like a man who's been out enduring the heat. You've got that lean of exhaustion!” I smile at him, thinking of my father, who I've seen countless times sweaty and exhausted and using whatever solid object is closest to to stabilize himself from weariness.

“Yee-ah, ahm deng nar' dun beatn intuh tha grownd” His accent is SO thick I have trouble deciphering what he is saying.

I smile and we trade light commentary while I realize he is almost not speaking English.

Cast of King of the Hill (bookout) Guy dressed like Rocket Icecream Moorlocks escaping heat Mexican kid with bandana AND a hat, but pants falling off. Black girl with freckles full of energy Tired and hot worker with beard that twirled like goat horns starting conversations about the heat already worried about the cold Broken soda machine Slow slide of

My Friend the Cricket

11:30 – A cricket has made his way into my studio. He starts his concert slow and creaky... like violinist tuning her instrument. But he is in full song-mode now. I'd stop him and ask for his advice, but I don't want to interrupt the flow.

Perhaps we can speak after the concert.

3:30... exhausted. Cant' stop thinking... too long chained to your computer

I'm going to sleep to dream dreams of worlds and doorways to other worlds and strange creatures warping reality.

At least I got to screen Castaway and The Firm during my hours of retouching.

#deardiary

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

Some days you fight the grind. Some days you just ride it out.

Jump to: The Gone Day | The Grind | Dreams | Black Lines

Rocky Days

Today is a WORK day. Up at the crack of dawn. VERY strange dreams. VIVID.

1. Bank robbery, but everyone was friendly adn I knew all the tellers.

2. Rednecks in the bayou. Good ol' boys take us out into the sticks and show us a world class old European city on the banks of a canal.

And the day is gone.

Somehow I slipped to 6pm. Still grnding.

The wife is listening to Ronnie Milsap covers in the living room I missed the artist covering him. He sounds good.

Daydreams About Night Things

Ain't No Gettin' Over Me

What a Difference You've Made

Wonder if she's thinking about me. :–)

When I ask, I get a warm hug. She's reliving her youth.

The Grind

The churn never ends. I forgot what it's like to be chained to my computer. But! We'll get there. 6 images turned into 11. All due tomorrow. Really? Okay...

SO, turn up the radio and press on 'till dawn.

And don't forget to eat.

Up, down, turn around Please don't let me hit the ground Tonight, I think I'll walk alone I'll find my soul as I go home

Dream 260810

Rednecks, drywaller

Drive me and Ng out to their house on a canal in the rurals north of Dust Meridian. A place I've been many time between the river and the highway. It is an old austere hilltop. One lane roads. House is like the one in Southerns France (riviera. Plains but nice, it courtyard. Pitch a concert on barges. Like Mardi Gras. Rednecks push back because there's no room for pedestrians to drink and flash people. Only balcony room up here.

Complaining about cost of living

Discussion about the Queen of Swords. They know her and fear her stare.

Flood made everything purple, even the people. The hair i purple, the wreckage is purple. I marvel at. how completely covered everything is.

Watching shark videos on the guys phone. He has a fancy shroud that blocks out spill light in bright environments (outside). and a fuzzy mic.

They make YouTube content. Try to be funny. But spontaneous funny, not doggedly overscripted funny.

Ratchet old guy and his lady. A single young man.

Drive out early. Come home late. Take a shower. Get water everywhere. I put down copious towels to sop up the inches of water.

They show me the interior of their house. Very proud of the drywall work they've done. Want my approval for some reason. I tell them I used to be able to carry drywall two sheets at a time.

Guy drives an old powder blue Model A. Ng wants to drive. I worry she'll fall asleep.

I wake up. I immediately start to write this down. I try to go back to the semi lucid dream I had about the bank the night before. Robbing, but knowing everyone. But it's fuzzy at best.

The Same Black Line

I had my world strapped against my back I held my hands, never knew how to act

And the same black line that was drawn on you Was drawn on me And now it's drawn me in 6th-Avenue heartache

—

It's turning into one of those nights.

The ocean oceans until the night falls then it turns east to go home When it rests its weariness on the west. the cliffs, the stone and the grass— Ireland's patient isle welcome it home.

It reaches.

And reaches.

But Ireland cannot not follow.

So the ocean pulls away, silver with wanting, only to return at dawn and try again.

This is why the West coast of the emerald isle is beautiful:

the sea has spent forever missing what it loves.

The Midnight Hour

I always think i'm going to get more done than I do. I am a terrible time manager.

I'm a closet Rihanna fan I guess. This track always gets me goin'!

[For my money this SNL skit with Shy Ronnie is peak Rihanna

Farewell to yet another day. 2:30am... 4 hours of sleep await! Tomorrow HAS to move forward.

Aloha.

#deardiary

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

Everyone wants to be good fruit, but not everyone can do the work. Or

'Date-nite' for Jeremiah! Yes, I conflate figs and dates. They are both excellent desserts in the desert. ;–)

Jeremiah 24

Then Jehovah showed me two baskets of figs set before the temple of Jehovah, after King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had carried into exile Jeconiah son of Jehoiakim, the king of Judah, along with the princes of Judah, the craftsmen, and the metalworkers; he took them from Jerusalem to Babylon.

One basket had very good figs, like early figs, but the other basket had very bad figs, so bad that they could not be eaten.

Jehovah then asked me:

“What do you see, Jeremiah?”

So I said:

“Figs; the good figs are very good, but the bad ones are very bad, so bad that they cannot be eaten.”

Then the word of Jehovah came to me, saying:

“This is what Jehovah the God of Israel says, ‘Like these good figs, so I will regard in a good way the exiles of Judah, whom I have sent away from this place to the land of the Chaldeans.

“‘I will keep my eye on them for their good, and I will cause them to return to this land. I will build them up, and I will not tear down; I will plant them, and I will not uproot.

“‘And I will give them a heart to know me, that I am Jehovah. They will become my people, and I will become their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

“‘But concerning the bad figs that are so bad they cannot be eaten, this is what Jehovah says:

“‘“So I will regard King Zedekiah of Judah, his princes, the remnant of Jerusalem who are left in this land, and those who are dwelling in the land of Egypt.

“‘“I will make them an object of horror and calamity to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach, a proverbial saying, a cause for ridicule, and a curse in all the places to which I disperse them.

“‘“And I will send against them the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, until they have perished from the land that I gave to them and to their forefathers.”’”

Jeremiah 25

The word that came to Jeremiah concerning all the people of Judah in the fourth year of Jehoiakim son of Josiah, the king of Judah, which was the first year of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.

This is what Jeremiah the prophet spoke concerning all the people of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem:

“From the 13th year of Josiah son of Amon, the king of Judah, to this day, these 23 years, the word of Jehovah has come to me, and I kept speaking to you again and again, but you would not listen.

“And Jehovah sent all his servants the prophets to you, sending them again and again, but you would not listen or incline your ear to hear.

“They would say, ‘Turn back, please, each of you from your evil ways and your evil deeds; then you will continue dwelling for a long time to come in the land that Jehovah long ago gave to you and to your forefathers.

“‘Do not follow other gods and serve them and bow down to them, offending me with the work of your hands; otherwise I will bring calamity on you.’

“‘But you would not listen to me,’ declares Jehovah. ‘Instead you offended me with the work of your hands, to your own calamity.’

“Therefore this is what Jehovah of armies says:

“‘Because you would not obey my words, “I am sending for all the families of the north,” declares Jehovah, “sending for King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, my servant, and I will bring them against this land and against its inhabitants and against all these surrounding nations.

“‘“I will devote them to destruction and make them an object of horror and something to whistle at and a perpetual ruin.

Back to the Top

“‘“I will put an end to the sound of exultation and the sound of rejoicing from them, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the hand mill and the light of the lamp.

“‘“And all this land will be reduced to ruins and will become an object of horror, and these nations will have to serve the king of Babylon for 70 years.”’

“‘But when 70 years have been fulfilled, I will call to account the king of Babylon and that nation for their error,’ declares Jehovah, ‘and I will make the land of the Chaldeans a desolate wasteland for all time.

“‘I will bring on that land all my words that I have spoken against it, all that is written in this book that Jeremiah has prophesied against all the nations.

“‘For many nations and great kings will make slaves of them, and I will repay them according to their deeds and the work of their own hands.’”

For this is what Jehovah the God of Israel said to me:

“Take this cup of the wine of wrath out of my hand, and make all the nations to whom I send you drink it.

“And they will drink and stagger and act like madmen because of the sword that I am sending among them.”

So I took the cup out of the hand of Jehovah and made all the nations to whom Jehovah sent me drink:

Starting with Jerusalem and the cities of Judah, her kings and her princes, to make them a ruin, an object of horror, something to whistle at and a curse, as it is today;

then Pharaoh king of Egypt and his servants, his princes, and all his people, and all their mixed populations;

all the kings of the land of Uz;

all the kings of the land of the Philistines — Ashkelon, Gaza, Ekron, and those remaining of Ashdod;

Edom, Moab, and the Ammonites;

all the kings of Tyre, all the kings of Sidon, and the kings of the island in the sea;

Dedan, Tema, Buz, and all those with hair clipped at the temples;

all the kings of the Arabians and all the kings of the mixed populations who reside in the wilderness;

all the kings of Zimri, all the kings of Elam, and all the kings of the Medes;

and all the kings of the north near and far, one after the other, and all the other kingdoms of the earth that are on the surface of the ground;

and the king of Sheshach will drink after them.

“And you must say to them, ‘This is what Jehovah of armies, the God of Israel, says:

“‘“Drink and get drunk and vomit and fall so that you cannot get up because of the sword that I am sending among you.”’

“And if they refuse to take the cup out of your hand to drink, say to them:

“‘This is what Jehovah of armies says: “You must drink it!

“‘“For look! If I am bringing calamity first on the city that bears my name, should you go unpunished?”’

“‘You will not go unpunished, for I am calling for a sword against all the inhabitants of the earth,’ declares Jehovah of armies.”

And you are to prophesy all these words to them and say to them:

From on high Jehovah will roar,
And from his holy dwelling he will make his voice heard.

He will roar loudly against his abiding place.

Shouting like those treading the winepress,
He will sing triumphantly against all the inhabitants of the earth.

A noise will resound to the ends of the earth,
For Jehovah has a controversy with the nations.

He will personally pass judgment on all humans,
And he will put the wicked to the sword,
declares Jehovah.

Back to the Top

This is what Jehovah of armies says:

Look! A calamity is spreading from nation to nation,
And a great tempest will be unleashed
From the remotest parts of the earth.

And those slain by Jehovah in that day
Will be from one end of the earth clear to the other end of the earth.

They will not be mourned,
Nor will they be gathered up or buried.

They will become like manure
On the surface of the ground.

Wail, you shepherds, and cry out!

Wallow about, you majestic ones of the flock,
Because the time of your slaughter
And your dispersion has come,

And you will fall like a precious vessel!

The shepherds have no place to flee,
And there is no escape
For the majestic ones of the flock.

Listen! The outcry of the shepherds
And the wailing of the majestic ones of the flock,

For Jehovah is devastating their pasture.

And the peaceful dwelling places have been made lifeless
Because of the burning anger of Jehovah.

He has left his lair just like a young lion,
For their land has become an object of horror

Because of the cruel sword
And because of his burning anger.

#biblereading #jeremiah

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

Only summer sounds like this

Summer is universally loved. In spite of the heat, there's a great charm in the sweat and the being of out of doors that no other time of year quite matches. As I walked out this afternoon to decompress, it struck me how I haven't taken a single moment to enjoy my summer.

Here's a little glimpse of that moment for me. Join me, won't you? Taste it.

Sorry about the audio. Wind noise is aggravating.

The bees this year are't quiet as robust. I think I might need to harvest some honey. Maybe an abundance is making them lazy? or their weak? Not sure. but probably about half of this activity right now.

2025-07-11 19:25:00 #essay #memoir #journal #100daystooffset #writing

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper

Levity is Good for the Soul. Intelligence is good for the mind. This should soothe both!

Greetings, dear reader! Today thought I’d catch you up on some of Mister Tom Gauld’s latest and greatest. Please visit Tom’s website if you can and give him a little love. You won’t regret it!! ❤️

On the meantime, here are a few laughs.

#reflection #essay #memoir #journal #100daystooffset #writing #comic #tomguald

2025-07-13 11:30:00

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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper